The Horror

I couldn't believe it! Last night while I was settling down for a good dinner someone sat on me and poured this awful oily stuff all down my neck. You know I don't really mind the feeling of it that much, it's kinda therapeutic, but that smell. Oh the smell!

I tried to get away from it. I ran I hid, but nothing could get me away from it. So I eventually came to the conclusion that all I could do was carry on eating and hope that the smell would eventually disappear.

The smell did finally go, but now I'm noticing that all my little flea friends don't like me anymore. In fact, most of them just seem to be dropping off after they give me my nightly tickle. I just can't work it out. I thought they enjoyed the daily philosophising over the greater uses of kibble.

OH NO!! I can't believe it I just found Billy... He's d...d...dead! What is going on here! Oh my gosh it's Betty. NOOOOOO!!! I'm poisoning my friends. They're allergic to me. How can it be? What was that stuff that was poured down my neck? I vow that from this day forward this atrocity will never happen again!!