Someone shaved me again

Well, life isn't so bad anymore. I made the effort to be nice to everyone and took the time to come down and visit. Everyone seemed happy to see me and even offered me yummy cheese sauce and chicken filo pastry. Let me tell you that I felt like a king and I no longer feel it's necessary to sit staring at a blank wall.

But my only concern is that I seem to have lost more fur. I just don't know what is happening. I go out to visit my building friends get all distracted and when I come to my fur has disappeared. Maybe they are not my friends after all :( I think I'm just going to stay at home for a few days to see what happens.

Other than this I don't really have anymore interesting news except for my boating incident this morning. I couldn't believe it, I found an empty boat just sitting on the floor. So I jump in but then got yelled at to get out cause I would damage it. I mean really, how would I damage an inflatable raft? I'm weigh almost nothing and have very blunt claws cause I never use them. People!... Who can figure them out?

My Depression

Recently I have been feeling very neglected since no-one is ever at home anymore. No-one loves me so I have taken a place of dishonour sleeping up on the kitchen grocery cupboard. I sit there facing the wall because I don't deserve to survey my kingdom anymore. Now I spend my days up in my cupboard sleeping in a basket and my nights sitting staring at a wall.

I just can't understand why no-one is around while I'm down from my cupboard home to pet me. I have obviously done something wrong. In fact I was getting so desperate for attention that I went to visit the builders next door for some attention. I remember things getting a bit smoky while I was visiting, but I can't remember leaving there and when I woke up half the fur on my belly was gone. In fact, the fur near my tail has gotten considerably thinner as well.

I have to wonder if they might have tried to shave me in my moment of smoky weakness. Why does the world hate me so...... People are not around when I want to play and those that I find to play with try to shave me. I mean do you know how silly I would look without my fur. I mean my fur gives me my size. Without it I'm only a tiny 2kg cat but with it I'm a giant 20kg monster.

Maybe if I gave other people more of my time and stopped trying to get them to revolve around my schedule they might give me more attention. But why should I make the effort. Ok so they work, but so do I. Sleeping for 16hours a day isn't easy. I mean I even have to get up to eat dinner in the kitchen. No-one even has the decency to bring me my bowl in bed. What kind of world am I living in where a cat has to make the effort for attention and to get a decent comfy meal. My mother never has to put up with this I mean she gets KFC mash and gravy served to her while she's sleeping on a pillow. Ok, granted she came down to get it, but am I really expected to do all the work?

The Horror

I couldn't believe it! Last night while I was settling down for a good dinner someone sat on me and poured this awful oily stuff all down my neck. You know I don't really mind the feeling of it that much, it's kinda therapeutic, but that smell. Oh the smell!

I tried to get away from it. I ran I hid, but nothing could get me away from it. So I eventually came to the conclusion that all I could do was carry on eating and hope that the smell would eventually disappear.

The smell did finally go, but now I'm noticing that all my little flea friends don't like me anymore. In fact, most of them just seem to be dropping off after they give me my nightly tickle. I just can't work it out. I thought they enjoyed the daily philosophising over the greater uses of kibble.

OH NO!! I can't believe it I just found Billy... He's d...d...dead! What is going on here! Oh my gosh it's Betty. NOOOOOO!!! I'm poisoning my friends. They're allergic to me. How can it be? What was that stuff that was poured down my neck? I vow that from this day forward this atrocity will never happen again!!

Nasty Humans

I just couldn't believe it! Last night I was perfectly happy sleeping on a pillow when all of a sudden I was falling. I couldn't work it out until I realised that that nasty girl had just rolled me off my pillow at the head of the bed. And to my disgust took it to use herself. I mean why couldn't she just get her own pillow. I had worked so hard to shed enough fur all over it to make it comfy. I mean really the audacity of it all. And then she had the nerve to pick me up and throw me out the door when I tried to make nice, thinking that maybe I could share with her.

What's a cat to do. All I wanted was to sleep and then had to settle for a couch to lie on. I mean really...