Apologies

I am horrified to report that an apology from NUX has still not been received. This is one of the most unprofessional newspapers I have ever dealt with. They should be good enough toprint an apology for implying that I am female when I am as male as Brad Pitt, even more so because I don't do children! All I was asking for was a little common decency, but as of yet it has not surfaced. I will keep you all posted on the developments once I have consulted with my lawyer. And for all you NUXy people out there be afraid because I know shit-loads!!

But anyway, life besides the traumatisation of NUX has been relativley wonderful at the moment. My only complaint is that while it was pouring last night from that awesome storm we had those stupid humans did the dumbest, stupidest, idiotic (you get the picture) thing ever!! After the thunder I knew that I had to take up my guard cat position under the dining room sideboard just in case any strays tried to take shelter in my house. I mean we can't have hobos roaming my kingdom. Anyway, I was running past the fridge keeping low, in typical espionage fashion I saw that that stupid filthy beast of a dog was taking shelter in the kitchen.

Just because he's not a proper MAN (NUX pay attention here) and is scared of a little thunder, hiding between the deep freeze and the fridge, does not mean that he should be allowed in my kitchen. Put him in the garage where he belongs.... OUTSIDE!!!! Why is it that no-one can accept that it's my house and I decide who gets to come in and go out. Speaking of which I need to lay down the law with those damn humans........ No leaving til I am fed, groomed, and placed on my pillow dammit!!!

A Response to Q

I was thrilled recently to hear that my life's ramblings were going to be broadcast to millions... well hundreds of students... in the Blog review section of NUX. However, I was disgusted and horrified at the journalistic lies!! Firstly, I would like to put the record straight; I am not female I am a manly male cat who likes wearing a tiara... ok? Q needs to print an apology in at least the next 3 issues highlighting points as to why I am the manliest beast she has ever heard of and let the world know what happens to incompetant journalists who print incorrect facts.

Secondly, everything you read in my amazing and PERFECT blog is true. Nothing is fabricated or imagined. That is what makes it so spectacular because it is my real-life adventures... duh... what would be the point of fabricating nonsense. I'm not a lawyer for God's sake, I don't lie or cheat! And lastly, how dare anyone say that "originality is not [my] forte" and that I am anti-social. I am very original, how many other cats do you see writing a blog may I ask you? And why on earth would I direct you away from my wonderful insight to somebody else's drivel? It is obvious to see that Q has issues about her own blog and feels the need to criticise mine. Just because I have legions of fans is no reason to get jealous. I'm sure you will get there eventually if you just tried a little harder and learnt to pull off the tiara look